The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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