nut hugger
I cannot find my penis.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
