I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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