Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am one with the molecules
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
