We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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