i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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