Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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