you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your penis caused this!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
