Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
