Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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