i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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