never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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