Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
