He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
