and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
