the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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