And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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