David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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