im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
