My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Quick, to the slutcave!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
