New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
