Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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