I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
