shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
