whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
