Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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