If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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