Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
