Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
there is glitter all over my balls
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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