im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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