Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
