and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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