New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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