Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
