She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
