but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
