Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry about my life...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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