Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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