Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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