so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
should my penis look like a turkey
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
