Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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