playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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