Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
