My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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