worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
