You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
