I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
