the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
