I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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