That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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