Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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