nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
