i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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