About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
