Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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