Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
