I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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