WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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