Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
