Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
