I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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