I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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