no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
we should paint friendship bongs
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
