I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
