I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
