i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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