did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
